Tiana Nobile (Video)

  • So several of the poems in Cleave
  • are in conversation
  • with social psychologist Harry Harlow
  • who was famous for his
  • studies on attachment and relationships
  • between caregivers and infants.
  • He did this work primarily
  • with rhesus monkeys,
  • most famously taking them away
  • from their mothers and presenting them
  • with two surrogate options,
  • one made of cloth and one made of wire.
  • So I'm gonna start by reading a few poems
  • that appear scattered throughout
  • the first section of the book that use
  • this idea of Harlow's surrogate mothers
  • in order to imagine
  • different forms of mothers
  • from the perspective of the adoptee.
  • It starts with an epigraph,
  • which is a quote from Harlow's
  • research paper called The Nature of Love.
  • Quote.
  • The surrogate was made
  • from a block of wood,
  • covered with sponge rubber, and sheathed
  • in tan cotton terrycloth.
  • A light bulb behind her radiated heat.
  • The result was a mother,
  • soft, warm, and tender.
  • A mother with infinite patience,
  • a mother available 24 hours
  • a day, a mother that
  • never scolded her infant
  • and never struck or bit
  • her baby in anger, unquote.
  • Mother of Ghost.
  • Whether of wire or terrycloth,
  • there will always be mother.
  • Mine was made of ghost.
  • Every move is one step away from her.
  • I try to backtrack,
  • lose myself in maps.
  • I tell myself tread nimbly.
  • Every step is a newborn shadow, bodies
  • fracturing light.
  • Mother Without a Face.
  • Looks in the mirror.
  • I wonder what creases we share.
  • I wonder how long her hair is.
  • I wonder if she chews
  • on the inside of her mouth
  • until the skin is chafed pulp.
  • If she sucks her teeth when it rains.
  • I wonder if she clings to heat
  • like a monkey to cloth.
  • My nose capsizes
  • an upside down question mark.
  • I pull and pull,
  • the line stretched short.
  • Foster Mother.
  • The first time I belonged to a woman.
  • My body, a fresh bulb
  • broken off at the root.
  • She kept me for six months,
  • watched spit bubble from my pursed lips.
  • I wonder if she ever claimed me.
  • If she rocked me to sleep on her chest.
  • If she wiped my mouth gently saying,
  • there you go, there you are.
  • Dreams of Motherhood.
  • Why are barbed with fragments
  • of love or tender cloth
  • that never scolds,
  • never strikes, never bites?
  • The mothers I find like copper
  • coins headspace up.
  • The ones I collect
  • because of their tenderness.
  • The nature of a light radiating heat.
  • Monkey in the cage
  • pulling out her hair,
  • waiting for someone to claim her.
  • What is the opposite of Mother?
  • And throughout the book
  • I have a series of poems that I call
  • my dictionary poems that
  • where in I borrow language
  • from the Oxford English
  • Dictionary entries on different words.
  • So this poem, browsing
  • went from the entry on migrant,
  • and I think as an adoptee,
  • I didn't fully embrace the identity
  • of an immigrant for most of my childhood,
  • I think growing up
  • in a predominantly white space
  • in a white family.
  • I tried as best as I could to erase that,
  • that painful, challenging
  • aspect of my origin
  • and it's only within the last few years
  • that I really started to embrace the fact
  • that my own immigrant story,
  • even if it is different
  • than other peoples that I originated
  • in another country and traveled here.
  • So this poem.
  • It's called Migrant,
  • and it's written
  • in solidarity around the
  • diverse experiences of immigrants
  • around the world.
  • Migrant.
  • Of an animal, especially a bird.
  • A wandering specieswhom
  • no seas nor places limit.
  • A seed who survives
  • despite the depths of hard winter.
  • The ripple of a herring
  • steering her band from icy seas
  • to warmer strands.
  • To find the usual watering-places
  • despite the gauze of death that shrouds
  • our eyes is a breathtaking feat.
  • Do you ever wonder why
  • we felt like happy birds
  • brushing our feathers
  • on the tips of leaves?
  • How we lifted our toes
  • from one sandbank and landed - fingertips
  • first - on another?
  • Why we clutched the dumb
  • and tiny creatures of flower
  • and blade and sod
  • between our budding fists?
  • From an origin of buried seeds emerge
  • these many-banded dagger wings.
  • We, of the sky, the dirt, and the sea.
  • We, the seven-league-booters
  • and the little-by-littlers.
  • We, transmigrated souls, will prevail.
  • We will carry ourselves
  • into the realms of light.